Overwhelmed, to say the least

So...since I'm now addicted to Facebook I joined a SMA Awareness group and got a link to the following article. I hope you can take a minute to read it, it's really not that long, and you might have to copy and paste...

http://esciencenews.com/articles/2009/07/27/isu.researchers.find.possible.treatment.spinal.muscular.atrophy

I'm not sure what has been going on with me lately, but I have had Jackson on my mind more then usual. That should have been one of my truths in the previous post...there's not a day that goes by that he does not enter my mind. I miss him so, SO much it's unreal. I just wonder if that emptiness will ever go away.....I wonder if other people think about him as much as I do....I wonder if I'm going to be alive to see them find a cure for this horrible disorder.....I wonder a lot of things!

Anyway...so researchers seem to have found a way to treat SMA, how unbelievable is that?!?!! I'm just overwhelmed-hence the post title. I know we are years away from anything really happening, but think how much this is going to change so many people's lives. So, that's all for this time around, that's kinda a short and sweet post (like me!). As always, please, PLEASE, always REMEMBER JACKSON!

The Ugly Truth

So, I was super excited about this movie coming out on Friday night and gathered some of my peeps together to go see it. Well, I was a little bit disappointed in the movie...I had very high expectations, and they just weren't met. Don't get me wrong, the movie was funny, but it was actually a bit dirty with lots of f-words too. It reminded me a lot of "Knocked Up", which I also wasn't super excited about. It is not my fav movie of the summer that's for sure. Now, if you are looking for a GREAT movie...I say go see "The Proposal" which was probably the best movie I've seen in awhile. I will own it on Blu-Ray when it comes out because it was just a great movie. Joseph didn't see that movie, and I might just go back with him to see it again! I've turned into a bit of a movie buff this summer...there's one more movie I'm excited to see-"The Time Traveler's Wife" which comes out in a few weeks. I read the book, which is always better, but I'm willing to give it a chance. And in November "New Moon" comes out, and I never thought I'd be a big "Twilight" fan, but I'm addicted. Me and Grace even talked about being pshyco "Twilight" fans and going to the midnight showing of "New Moon" but that' pretty late for me you know!

Anyway...the title "The Ugly Truth" got me to thinking of some of the ugly but true aspects of my life, and I thought it'd make a great post. So...here's my list-

***Buying a boat that is 16 years old is gonna require a good bit of work, and money. But, after Joseph has put much time, sweat, blood and tears into the boat the motor is running. Now I have to get it registered-tomorrow in Columbia- and we have to get the right prop on it and we will be cruising the lake in our new boat-hopefully next weekend!

***I had some good success with Weight Watchers and actually lost 16 pounds before getting pregnant, never really gained any weight while pregnant (thank you morning/noon/night sickness)! I'm stuck on losing these last 4-6 pounds that I want to lose-arrgghh! And then I have to learn to maintain. And truthfully, I'd love to lose 10 more and be back to my before Jackson "fighting weight." It's time to get dedicated, again...

***I really hate thyroid disease. Which lead to several (about 10) pounds after losing Jackson (probably added with some stress). I'm thankful we did IVF because Dr. Crain found the thyroid issue, but then the other 10-15 pounds came on thanks to IVF. Oh well...again, it's just time to get dedicated!

***I'm super excited about graduating (as Joseph calls it) to 2nd Grade. After the initial shock I think it's going to be a great move for me. I've already begun working in my room and have my desks set up, but I'm lost at what kinds of centers, which aren't centers in 2nd grade I'm sure, I need to have set up. Lucky for me, I'm going out to dinner with my new team on Tuesday night, so I can grill them then!

***I'm really nervous to take my three boys to the vet. They are due for their shots, which of course they'll get, but I think I'm going to get yelled at. Rocky (the name fits) weighs 15 pounds (according to the Wii Fit) and that's way too much. I swear he's active and eats the same, if not less, then his skinny brothers, who weigh 11 pounds (Tripp) and 12.5 pounds (Charlie). Maybe I can just say he's a "big boned" cat?!!!

***After months of making fun of my friends I am now a "Facebook" addict. I don't know what it is...I don't even "talk" that much with people. But I do love the games and looking at everyone's pictures. I got to see great pics of the family reunion on there, which I wouldn't see other wise. Are you my Facebook friend?

Alright...those are some of the "ugly truths" about me. Wanna join in and confess an ugly truth? Come on...it makes you feel better. I feel so much better then I'm going to get off this computer and do something about dinner...ok, well drive somewhere and order dinner! As always, thanks for checking in on us. The real pretty truth in my life...I'm so thankful to have such wonderful family and friends who can deal with me, ugly parts included! And also, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

The Story of the Boat...

In my previous post I told you we were looking into buying a boat. We got all excited and found out the boat had been sold. Yuck! We aren't really in need of a boat, so it we were ok with not buying the boat. And then the guy who was going to buy the boat didn't show up, so the boat is for sale again. This time we got it! World meet our boat...



And this is the hunky captain of the boat...



Now...the boat isn't exactly "water ready" at the moment. So now Joseph has a bit of a project on his hands. We did find that the motor will "turn over" (what ever the heck that means), something about the motor not being locked. It's an older boat ('93) that has been out of the water for 3 years. It was stored outdoors for those 3 years, not covered, so you can imagine the shape that it's in cosmetically. We are lucky to have a great friend who can fix any motor imaginable. I am lucky to have a great husband who likes to make things look really nice. So, first we get the boat running. Second, this winter we will begin working on all the other stuff. We are super excited about our latest purchase and look forward to many fun times on our new boat. The biggest issue now...what are we going to name the boat?! Any suggestions? Let me here from you!

That's all this time around. I'm now off to finish wifey stuff. I love going on vacation, and I love coming home too, but I really hate all the unpacking, washing clothes and getting all settled again. Oh well...I guess since I'm not working I can take care of those things-yuck! Anyway...thanks for checking in and as always, Please REMEMBER JACKSON!

Moving On Up, and Out

So...last night I learned that I'm going to be moving on up. Up where you ask? Well, I'm leaving my comfort zone, my home, my first love-Kindergarten, and moving up to 2nd Grade. My emotions are all over the place right now, excitement, nervousness, scared to death because this is something very new, but it's a move that I think is going to be great for me, and that's what it's all about right...me?!!! The numbers at our school for Kindergarten this year are way down, so we had to lose a teacher either to another school or going up to 2nd. My principal called and asked (ok, really told) me that he wants me to go to 2nd grade. After the initial shock, I'm really ok with that decision. I'm VERY sad to leave my kindergarten team...we've been a solid team for the past 5 years, but I'm also excited to try something new. My biggest concern at the news was about my BFF, my assistant, my partner in crime Pam, but she's been giving a instructional assistant job still at Oakdale...and I'm hoping to work my magic and at least get her in my room! We are both sad but excited, and actually thankful to still have a job. So...that's my big news on moving on up, well that, and that we are looking into buying our own boat! That's still in the works, but we've found an older boat at a descent price and we are looking into buying it, that way we don't have to use my parents all the time for their boat! I'll let you know how it goes.

Now...moving on out. In a couple of hours we are headed down to the beach for our second get away with our friends. I think I'm going to be leaving the laptop at home this go around and enjoy the time with my hot hubby and fantastic friends. Thanks for sharing in our journey. It's always interesting that's for sure. Pray for me as I begin this new chapter in my life...I'm not going to know what to do with these older students-PRAY! As always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!



PS...Joseph says he's still waiting on some apologizes from 8 people. Whose going to be the first to say sorry in a comment and maybe win a prize?!....

So Sorry Joseph...

It looks like 8 people need to say sorry to Joseph...and I'm not one of them. I finally gave in and gave him the benefit of the doubt that he would not leave that kind of mess, therefore to give him some credit I voted on my own blog in his favor...I was the only NO vote-haha! After much debate and investigations into the whole how the heck did all the water get on the floor and rug and not on entertainment stand we came to a few conclusions. One...there was water in the entertainment stand, in the drawer under the fish tank, you just needed to look for it, which I didn't. Two...our living room runs at a light angle, kinda in a downwards angle from the entertainment stand towards the rug area. Three...when a fish is stuck in the pipe apparently water shoots out the back-wanna know how we figured that one out?! We put a fish back up there-JUST KIDDING! Four...the little "tool" that comes with the filter to keep things from going up the pipe should be used at all times-lesson learned, that little piece is now in place. The fish are happily swimming in their fist tank up on the top shelf of the entertainment center away from the three cats. It has been a great move for all Hedgepeth Animals!

There isn't much else going on to report at the moment. To be completely honest with you, I'm actually in a training class, apparently not paying to much attention! I can't believe that I've been here since 9:00, have to be here until 4:00, and have 3 more days of this. The light at the end of the tunnel...after training on Thursday we are off to the beach again...YAY! Thanks for checking in on us and sharing in our journey, and as always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

My Poor Fish...

***Update (and if you don't know the story about the fish, you might want to read it first, below) Joseph called me on his way home and he has come to the conclusion that if a fish was stuck in the pipe of the filter then water would spit out the back of the filter. I'm still not buying into that though because the water was ALL OVER the floor and rug and NONE on the entertainment stand. We'll see how his face looks when he gets home and I can look him in the eye... I should probably let it go, but I'm not known for letting things go...

So, I might have mentioned that I had to bring 3 fish home from school...here they are:


These poor little fish have been through some stuff. I had to bring them home from school because someone tried to kill them by dumping red paint into the fish tank. The water was tinted red for some time after that, but after many cleanings everything was fine, and thank goodness it was non-toxic paint. Now they have to put up with the 3 cats who are always trying to put their paws in the water and stuff. Anyway...there's a little background information, now to the story of what happen this morning.

I came downstairs and the fish tank was only about 1/3 full of water, the floor and rug were completely soaked and there was not very much water on the actual entertainment stand. I called Joseph and ask him if the cats had knocked over the tank, he says no, I don't believe him, but I let it go and set out to get the tank back in order (you know with the important things like water...) so I dump the fish into a bowl and count only 2 fish. I call Joseph and explain that the cats have apparently gotten a fish and he says they probably didn't eat it but played with it, which makes me nervous because now there is probably a dead goldfish somewhere in my house (I've yet to find my battery charger which is big, I can only imagine where they have put the fish). I'm feeling rather sad because even though they are stupid goldfish I'm an animal lover and hate that they have suffered some. I decide they are leaving my house-either down the toilet, to the lake, to PetSmart...I don't care where they go, but they need to leave. I go about cleaning out the tank...check the filter for the missing fish-you never know, and begin running water through the hose of the filter. Out pops the fish and down the garbage disposal he goes ALIVE...oh crap. I call Joseph again this time screaming the fish is in the garbage disposal what do I go, how can I get it out. Joe says I have to put my hand in, which I'm not excited about, but I look in and can see the fish and try to grab it. He's a slippery little sucker, but I finally grab him and put him in the bowl with his brothers (or sisters, I don't really know). All 3 fish are currently in their cleaned out tank up as high as I can get them on the entertainment center, hopefully out of range of all cats...here's a picture where they now live:


They use to be on the bottom, but I'm hoping the cats can't get to them now (I've never seen them get up on the top shelf, so hopefully my fish are safe). However, the fist sign of a cat up there and the fish have to find a new home, so, I might be giving them away in a later post. My big issue right now is with my husband. I have looked at the situation from many different angles and there is just no way the cats didn't knock over the tank. I think he's telling me a story because he didn't clean up the mess knowing I was getting up right behind him soon (which I actually didn't...the one day I kinda sleep in!). So...I decided to create a little poll, it's over on the right hand side. Did Joseph come downstairs to find the fish tank on the floor and just pick it up and leave the mess? Go ahead and vote...I'm only going to keep it up a couple of days, but I promise I'll let you know the outcome!


That's all for this time around, though it's a pretty long post. Hope you enjoyed my fish story...I promise you it is 100% true, and I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't lived it. Thanks for checking in, until next time, as always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

4th of July Weekend

Joseph and I are so lucky to have such great family and friends to spend time with. This weekend we were on the go, and it was just the kind of weekend I needed. I've had a pretty rough time, understandable I know, and everyone always says to me you are so strong and I could never do what you have done...well, the truth is, I'm not that strong. I get through the tough times because what other choice do I have?! Yes, I could stay in bed all day, cry all day, not do anything, but lucky for me, I have a great husband who is with me every step of the way, the support of the most amazing family EVER, and a group of friends who may not know what to say or do for Joseph and I, but they are here and we know we could call them for anything! So...as America celebrated her birthday I celebrated being surrounded by great family and friends. Here are some pictures of our weekend...

Friday night we went to Red, White and Boom in Rock Hill with several of our friends. I will admit that I enjoyed some adult beverages, and well, it shows in the picture!





On Saturday we headed up to my parents and spent the day on the lake. Joseph did a lot of fishing and I did a lot of reading. It's funny how some things get sent your way during a certain time. In the book the main character has 5 miscarriages and gives up hope only to become pregnant. As I was watching Joe fish I came to the realization that we have a pretty great life, even if it is just the two of us right now. I have not given up on us having our family...but I had to step back and remind myself that I am so happy with my life and everyone in it right now and if God wants us to have a baby, well he's going to take care of it for us. Anyway...here are some pictures of the day up on the lake with my family.

Joseph's fish-



Me reading a great book...The Time Traveler's Wife (a movie is coming out soon!)



Some pictures of the men playing washer board.



My Dad and Uncle Tom are the North/South Carolina washer board champs. No one can take them down...here they are doing their victory dance, and my Dad kicking Joseph's butt, literally!





Later that night we took off on the boat to go watch fireworks. Dad and Joseph got us there after much debate...



Mom and I enjoying the ride...



Me with my Mom and Dad...



I want to end with my favorite two pictures of the day. I don't tell them nearly enough how much they mean to me and how lucky I am to have them in my life. They have been there for me every step of the way my entire life and I love them so much...here's two great pictures of my parents...I love you both so much!



But this is how they normally act, all the time. I guess I hope after 30 years of marriage Joseph and I love each other like you two do...



I hope everyone had a safe and relaxing holiday weekend. I just can not express enough to my family and friends how thankful I am to have you in my life. Thank you as always for sharing in our journey...you never know where it's going to take us, that's for sure. I love you all, and as always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!



Like the new look?! It was time for something new! Enjoy...

Way, WAY down, but NOT OUT...

I've had several days to "sit" on what I'm about to blog on, not knowing if I would ever be able to really talk about it, let it out, and let some in. Joseph and I had decided we would work it out together and keep it private, but I'm a talker (is that a surprise?) and I deal with things by talking about them and letting others in, and he agreed that I could blog about it because it's what I need to do...

Monday morning we lost our baby. I was 14 weeks and 6 days pregnant. We kept the news very private (or tried to anyway) because there were a lot of things that needed to go right, and unfortunately they did not. There were several things that went wrong and we were aware of all the things, but we were still so shocked when we lost the baby. We had hoped and prayed that everything would turn around, but it didn't...and I'm just so sad, and lost, and hurt, and mad, and a complete mess. We have struggled for so long to get pregnant again, and then this happened. And now we are just lost and don't know where to go. I mean, we've been down every possible road, except adoption-which we aren't against by any means, but we really just want our own baby. Now we wait...they say I have to wait 3 months after losing the baby, and I don't even know if we can try to get pregnant again. This time was so stressful and so hard. We are just lost, and I guess I decided to blog about it not to get your sympathy...Joseph and I can get through this, just like we got through losing Jackson, but I blog to ask you for prayers to guide us...do we try again, pursue adoption, become crazy cat people, whatever it is we are suppose to do, we need prayers and guidance.

Thank you for always being part of our journey. I would have never imagined that I would experience losing a baby at 4 months, struggling to get pregnant for over 2 years and then losing a baby later in a pregnancy. And like I said in my title, right now we are way down but we are not out by any means. We are going to get through this and we are going to have our family...no matter how it comes about, we'll get it. Please just continue to lift us in prayer as we get through this bumpy patch. And as always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

All my love,