It's That Time Again...

Time to update the playlist with some new jams. However...today's selections could lead to some memories, maybe a tear or two. Stand, by Rascal Flatts is the song I always heard and thought about when Jackson was here. Some of the lyrics are so much like what I was thinking and feeling. It was a song we considered playing at the funeral but decided not too during the actual service. It was played, along with some others, while people were coming in. It also happened to be playing when Joseph and I went up to say one last goodbye before the service started...so it's kinda my "I can get through this" anthem. Another "I can get through this" anthem was Praise You in this Storm, which actually came to me via my parents. My Daddy actually had a video of all Jackson's pictures made and this was the song used. It's just so true...we continue to weather a storm everyday, but we make it because of our faith and love for Jesus Christ. I don't get religious often, but I know He has a plan and I'm here to serve him how ever he needs me. I will continue to praise Him through everything!

Serious note over...now on to the other songs. Born to be my Baby is my ALL TIME favorite song by Bon Jovi. Have always, and will always, love it. I have always said that if I was the cheesy sign girl at a concert that my sign would say..."Jon, I was born to be your baby!" How stupid?! I know....

Stay by Lisa Loeb was just a song I found searching and just love it! You say it Best When you Say Nothing at All comes from one of my all time favorite movies, Knotting Hill. My favorite part in the song is ol' Mr. Webster could never define what's being said between your heart and mine. My brother also used the title for his senior quote...but he got it from his not my favorite girlfriend ever, but that's not why I like it. Taylor Swift is just one of my favs right now too...so I included her new single Love Story. And I love jamming to that song in the morning on the way to work...just a sweet song!

So...enjoy the new songs. I am open for suggestions if you would like me to add your song. Just tell me why...maybe I'll add it for you one day! Other then that things are great around the Hedgepeth's. Some exciting news...today I wore one of my smaller sized pants to work. Yay me! I've lost 8 pounds in my weight lose challenge with the peeps and a total of 12 since I really started trying...so that's fun and exciting! Alright...I'm off to do something else now! Until next time, as always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

An Emotional Weekend

Well...it's been a little bit emotional around the Hedgepeth House. This weekend saw some things we (or I guess, I) thought we'd never see...

First...Joseph sold "Little Blue" which was very tough for him. He loved that truck. It was the first truck he ever paid off and loved to work on it. However, I HATED the truck...it was loud and just not my favorite truck. So...Goodbye Little Blue!!! YAY!

Second...my cousin Sarah Love (who I say is my namesake since I'm Nichole Love) turned 18 today. 18 years ago she came into this world and I remember it. I have been feeling old lately, but now this...seriously. Last night we went out to a great dinner, Japanese-mine and Joseph's favorite!-and had a great time. Afterwards we went back to my parents for some Wii...and where I had to shut Sarah's boyfriend up rather quickly by bowling a 300...after he had talked much trash to me. Joseph tried to warn him, so I had no mercy. Sorry Nick....hahaha! We are now getting ready to go over to Sarah's again to have cake and ice cream!

And finally...my weekend ends on a high note because one of my BFF's is in town and we are going to hang out for awhile tonight...and an added bonus, I get to see her family and meet her nephew Dylan for the first time. Fun times!

Alright...so we are off for cake and ice cream for my baby cousin's 18th birthday. Still can't believe it. As always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

It's Only Been a Week...

So much to do, so little time to do it! Life has been pretty crazy at the Hedgepeth's...which seems to interfere with my blogging. I'm not really feeling the blog tonight, but thought I better put something up to satisfy my few readers!

So...what can I blog about in a short amount of time? Let's see...

1-I think I've got another darn ear infection. It's off to the ENT (per my family doctor) to figure out why at the age of 28 I am continuing to get them. Fun times!

2-Joseph is really trying to get his own landscaping company up and running. Now, not some big 700 people crew, but just a small landscaping business doing little things-irrigation, planting, designing...stuff like that, but not so much of the mowing, which he hates. We are really going about it the right way and hope that it brings in some extra money for us. Anyone need any landscaping? I know a really cute guy!

3-I acquired (well, actually am in the process of) getting a little part time job. Ready for this...I'm going to be scoring incoming freshmen's writing. WOW...doesn't that make me sound smart?! It's really easy, all on the computer-at home-and I get paid good money. I've got my eye on some goods that the money will buy!

4-Promised post about being given a medicine I was allergic to during my eye surgery. Long story short...I'm allergic to Omnicef, which is in all of my charts, and the doctor gave me a eye drop in the same family. The first surgery I was on a high dose of steroids (remember the hive incident?) so I didn't have an allergic reaction. But the second surgery I wasn't on steroids and we ran into all the problems...emergency surgery and such. I'm not sure why the doctor decided to tell me this at my last appointment, but I'm getting my ducks in a row to see what we can work out. I'm thankful that I'm fine, but not too happy to had to of had to spend an extra $2000 due to an allergic reaction which could have been avoided.

5-Losing a child never gets easier....NEVER! I pray for the day when Joseph and I can finally stop focusing on having a baby. It's so stressful for each of us in different ways. For me, it's just that uncontrollable desire to be a Mom. I can't even begin to imagine how Joseph feels. We try to talk about it, but sometimes it's so hard to express what we are feeling. The only thing that helps is knowing that at the end of the day, no matter what, we have each other, our family and our friends. It's been almost 2 years and I can not wake up without Jackson being on my mind. He's always on my mind and always in my heart. I continue to pray for the day when Joseph and I will get to experience what often times so many people take advantage of...having a healthy baby.

6-This is going to sound stupid, but I think I'm losing my mind. The other night I was laying in bed and remembered the craziest thing...I have a tattoo. I don't see it...it's on my back, but apparently during all the craziness in my life, I somehow forgot that little bit of info. How stupid is that?!

7-Beach Trip '09 is approaching fast and I have gone into the famously known role of "Nazi Nicki". Apparently I like to take control of everything...house, location, cost, activities, bed times, breakfast...you name it, I try to control it. This year we can't even get a head count. Do you know how stressful that is to me the planner?! I'll be glad when I can mark that off my list of things to do...

Alright...at the late hour of 5 minutes until 9 I'm off to bed. Exciting I know. Hope you enjoyed a glimpse of Hedgepeth life. As always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!



Oh...and I owe my Aunt Connie an apology. I gave credit to my Dad for voting on my blog. Nope...it was my trusty Aunt Connie! LOVE YOU!

A Long, LONG Time Ago...

Two people met (Ginny and Claire Cook), fell in love and started a family. A long time after that, they gave birth to their 10th (of 11) child...my Mommy, Tammy Cook Widrick! Today I want to wish the Greatest Mommy/Grammy/Best Friend/Sister/"Anything Else You Can Think Of" in the whole wide world a BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday Mommy...and don't worry, I'd never tell anyone you were 1 year away from 50. I don't share news like that. Your secret is safe with me!

Love you Mommy!

Four Friends

I sure to wish I knew who my whopping four friends are that voted in my poll. I think I've got them pretty much figured out in my head. Shell knew the answer because she's Shell and is too smart for the many of us (only needed one time to pass the CPA and CFP-enough said). Just now I realized that I only have 3 friends, because I voted myself...how lame?! I'm pretty sure my Dad voted for Summer of '69, because we use to totally rock out to that at school in the "green bugger," which is a rather long, painful memory that I'll spare you. I'm pretty sure my Mom voted for Meatloaf...because she makes up stuff in her head and leads herself to believe it, something we like to refer to as just plain ol "Tammy being Tammy." So...after talking through the votes, I've come to 3 conclusions...

1-I'm lame, I voted on my own silly blog.
2-My parents absolutely adore me because they read and vote on my silly blog.
3-Shell is still smart...she and I are the only ones who got it right!

It was a big story last week that "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey is the most downloaded song. As you why, there are many theories. It's an awesome song that you got to tap your foot to and sing. It was also on the finale of "The Soprano's" which I never watched. And there was something else they said, but I forgot, so that ends this silly section!

The Grey's/Private Practice "cross over event" was two hours of nothing. Could not believe it. They showed maybe 2 minutes of "cross overs" in 2 hours, which consisted of showing the same conversation 3 different times. Next week looks to be VERY promising, and it better be darn it! I'm looking forward to it, and really don't care if they cross over or not, it's just exciting to see all my favorite people together!

Just a quick mention of the whole "we're not sharing news about being pregnant until we are 12 weeks along" comment. I only shared that because after tonight, I will no longer blog about pregnancy and hope that I will do a post with a picture of our baby sooner rather then later (you'll just have to keep checking back). Today I still do not know if I'm pregnant, which is no lie, I promise. I want to thank the many of you who read my blog and communicate with me for your support of our decision to keep things quiet for awhile...it means a lot, all of your understanding! So...from now on no more comments about pregnancy. I just ask that you keep Joseph and I in your prayers as we continue our journey to have a healthy baby. Thanks!

Alright...that's all for tonight. I'm off to watch some Grammy's, read some of my book, and probably hit the hay. Time to start another week...wow! As always, thank you for sharing in our journey, please continue to keep us in your prayers, and always, REMEMBER JACKSON!



Oh, and coming soon, a great post about how I was given a medicine I was allergic to during my surgery...a fun, FUN story is coming your way soon...keep your eye out for it-haha!

Some New Jams

I decided to change my songs, which I hope you have enjoyed by the way! Tonight's theme...songs I loved growing up, and still love when I hear them today. I can't help but jam when these songs come on, which is often since most of them are on a CD that I own! I have to give complete credit to my Mom and Dad who nurtured my love for some good ol' 80's music! They took me to my first Bon Jovi concert when I was 8, and since then I believe I've been to 7 or 8 of his concernts and will continue to go to them, even though he is a democrat-uuggghhh. They also took me to see Bryan Adams when I was in middle school. Joseph and I went to see Rod on our own, it was my first gift to him for his birthday! This summer I got to see Journey, without Steve Perry, but seriously the Asian guy, whose name I don't know, sounds exactly like him, so it's all good. No Tom Cochrane concert...but it holds a little special meaning too...don't ever tell my parents or Joseph...but it was playing when I got my first kiss! I also threw in a little Meatloaf, and I had the chance to see them in concert years ago and didn't go...I hate myself for it! Meatloaf was always the tape (yes, tape from the 80's) that my parents would put in and my brother and I would scream. Now I own their CD (well, stole the CD from my parents, don't tell them that either) and I spared you the 10 minute Paradise by the Dashboard Light song and went with their "comeback/one hit wonder" song from 1999, maybe 2000 (I was a freshmen in college). So...that's my playlist for this week/month/however long I decide to keep it up! I've added a little poll over there -------------> Which song is the most downloaded song of all time? Did you pay attention to the recent reports? Take a guess...

I'm off to get ready for one of TV's greatest moments of all time possibly...two hours of Grey's and Private Practice in a "crossover event". How exciting! Even more exciting...I got my blood work back and the meds worked and I at least ovulated this month, which was not happening before. Now we know there's a possibility of me being pregnant, but we won't know for a few more days yet. Nothing like waiting a little longer. And FYI and please don't take this the wrong way, but y'all will have to wait for 12 weeks to find out...I will lie, deny it, tell fibs, anything I have to do...just being honest because I'm very afraid of sharing our news and something happening, so we've decided we would wait this time and we ask that you be respectful of that. We have shared a lot of our lives with y'all, but this is something that we have decided to do and we thank you for your understanding. Please don't make me lie to you and just know that when the time is right, we'll announce it to the whole world, but for now, today, honestly, I do not know if I'm pregnant. Please just continue to keep us in your prayers! Alright...that's all this time. As always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

...who is completely jamming with the new tunes!

A No Snow Snow Day

Wow...in Rock Hill I saw traces of snow, and school was cancelled. They say because of the ice, which was all gone when I headed in at 9:00. In my opinion it was really a wasted day. I didn't get much work done...I didn't really have that much to do, but did get caught up on some little things. I went this afternoon for my blood work...two sticks this time-not to bad. The nurse told me to never let anyone go in my left arm (where she tried first) and only use my right arm (where she found a great vein). It all makes sense now...at REACH during IVF the lady would draw my blood every 2-3 days and never miss...always in my right arm. The poor lady at my regular doctor misses every time she tries...in my left arm. Lesson learned!

So...I need to ask for some prayers. Please keep my friend Tammy and her family, especially her brother, in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow as he goes into surgery. I have been so blessed to really get to know Tammy...she is such a great friend, and I just ask that you say an extra prayer for them tomorrow. Also...many of you always do, but please continue to pray for Joseph and I. I think we just ended WW III on the ride home tonight, but sometimes you gotta yell and scream to feel all better. We want so badly to have a healthy baby, and it takes a toll, more then I hope any of you ever have to experience. The negative tests month after month are killing me, and I often end up taking it out on him. I often times have to step back and remember that there is a plan...whatever it is, there is one. I look back over the past 2-3 years and I'm just so thankful that I had Joseph, even though sometimes we argue and fuss. At the end of the day there is no one else I could ever imagine being at my side. And we are going to get our happy ending...I just hope sooner rather then later. That's all for tonight...sometimes I just got vent, so thanks for listening/reading and sharing in our journey. As always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

A Ruined Valentine's Day...

Well...due to the weather outside, which is about an inch of snow that covers up some ice, our Valentine's weekend has been ruined! Today is another snow day...and if you notice, there are no caps, there is NO excitement. Not only do students have to come to school on the Feb 13th, which was suppose to be a workday, but we'll all have school on the 16th to make up for today's snow. We were suppose to go out of town that weekend, originally for 4 days, then adjusted to 3, and now NONE! I'm SO OVER snow and ice. I have to head into work when the conditions are "safe." So...I'm just relaxing at home, completely ready for work since they called it after my shower, waiting for the roads to clear. This afternoon I have a doctor's appointment to have some blood drawn to see if the meds have worked...hope so! That's all I got...until next time, REMEMBER JACKSON!

Men...ok my husband Joseph...

I love my husband, I love my husband, I LOVE my husband...

BUT, if he would have walked within stabbing distance of me today in the kitchen, and I had a knife, I might have stabbed him in the leg.

Joe's day...up at 6:00, watch tv/eat breakfast, feed cats, get ready for work, leave for work, work from 7-4 (with 2 breaks and a 30 min lunch), go to the gym, work out for a little over an hour, come home, shower, play Tiger Woods golf (this is where it went very bad for ol' Joe)...

Nichole's Day...get up at 5:30 (due to sharp pain in stomach, not helped by two cats wanting some loving), do my Wii Fit body test, shower, blow dry hair, straighten hair, leave for work at same time as Joe, do early morning hall duty, hang with 21 (2 absent today) kids all day, get a 20 minute lunch break...if I'm lucky and no child needs me, get a little break when kids are gone to specials to-call Joe to see what he needs at the store, call doctor to see why I have pain, and research pain, work late getting some things done that needed to be done, go grocery shopping, unload all groceries, clean out fridge, exercise for 20 minutes until I feel sick-stomach issues today, start dinner, cook an entire dinner for my husband while fending off three vicious cats while my husband plays the Wii

No Joe...I don't know why I would be ill with you...get out of the kitchen before I grab a knife and stab you.



PS-he cleaned up the darn dishes...because I gave him NO choice! And NO, you will never hear Joseph's side of the story, this version is EXACTLY how it all happened.........