Finally!!!

I am on the road to making a full recovery, and it's about freaking time! I've been sick for the past week and I was completely over it! I'm excited to actually be able to breath through my nose...wow, my life is pretty boring as I write about a cold and breathing threw my nose.............

I planned on writing lots of good stuff when I began this post. All the stuff has left my mind...must have been that mind blowing conversation from above...sure! I've got a super weekend planned that I'm looking forward to...on Friday I take my class to the circus, which is going to be so exciting. Many of these kids have never seen anything like it, and it brings a lot of priceless smiles to their faces. Saturday we are going out with friends to this really upscale, expensive place called Cracker Barrel...me upscale?, expensive?...NOT SO MUCH! Plus, it's really easy to stick to the diet at good ol' CB! After our fancy dinner we are off to the movies again...this time to see New In Town...which I'm super excited about. Don't ever tell, but Joseph has a soft spot for chick flicks, so he got an invite this time around too! Sunday we are going over to a friend's house to watch some commercials that will be interrupted a lot by some football game. I'm not even excited about the stupid game! Anyhow...don't know why I thought everyone needed to know my play by play for the weekend...but if you need to know, it's all right here for your reading pleasure!

That's all I got! As I reflect on this post, it was pretty stupid. But I can end on a serious note. As you say your prayers please remember Joseph and I (which I know many of you do) as we continue to try to complete our family, but also lift up one of my work BFFs Tam and her family as they go threw one of life's not fair moments. Also...those two babies Brayden and Harper have been heavy on my heart, and if you haven't read their stories I encourage you to. Both families are so strong and their faith is unbelievable, which it has to be when you have a NICU baby, so just keep them in your thoughts too. And little Kayleigh, whose going to be having surgery next week to get a trach...which I know is super scary to her parents, but it's one step towards home, and we all know HOME is the best place ever! Thanks for all you do for Joseph and I...I haven't said it in a long, long time, but we made it threw our own hard times because of you four readers...THANK YOU! Have a great rest of the week. As always...REMEMBER JACKSON!

YUCK!

My ear infection is gone, finally, but has been replaced by a rather nasty cold...and it's kicking my tush that's for sure! I told Joseph last night that I wanted to shot myself in the foot so I had another pain to focus on...he wouldn't let me, not that we have guns in our house, or if we do, I don't know where to find it, and that's alright with me. Anyway...back to the cold. I didn't work Friday and decided to sleep from 9 to 1, rested most of Saturday, oh, and Sunday too. Yesterday I managed to work a full day (watch out!) and even Wii Fitted it for a little while. Today...I'm off to find some pain medicine for the awful sinus headache and a bed. Oh...and did I mention that it's "that week"? Many infertile friends will know...of course though, that's my luck, and I wouldn't want it any other way...YAY RIGHT!!

Enjoy...

My latest blog addition...music! Five songs that are dear to me for some reason or another!

1-Bon Jovi-I would have married him if I hadn't met Joseph
2-Fergie-This kinda became my person anthem after Jackson...trying to be that big girl who moves on, just really like it
3-Daughtry-my 3rd choice husband, behind Joseph and Bon Jovi
4-My Best Friend-mine and Joseph's first dance...say it with me...awwwwwww
5-You Raise Me Up-I danced with Jackson to this song on the American Idol Gives Back show. Cried my eyes out too...and often times still do when I hear it...

That's my play list for today! Enjoy...As always, REMEMBER JACKSON!

Weight Lose Secrets...

Just come down with what feels like strep but is probably just a really bad cold (which won't be taken care of by the z-pack that I am on...of course). Last night after Bunko (which I didn't win darn it) I was feeling HORRIBLE! Came home and went straight to bed. Woke up this morning feeling horrible still, but no running a fever, so we gave work a try. 1 hour later after wasted gas and time I'm back at home in the bed feeling complete nauseous and running a very low grade fever. Got up to try to eat a very exciting lunch...applesauce and pudding! Watched Grey's from last night...and did surprisingly well. I had been warned not to watch it, which of course means I'm going to watch it, and I'm just that dedicated fan that even watches the show after the have a big story around a boy named Jackson. Tears rolled, but no major break down...those I normally save for Private Practice, which I haven't watched but should have plenty of time to over the weekend since I am feeling so bad. Back to the bed a go...

Blogging Is Taking Over...

It seems blogging has been pretty high up on my things to do lately...which leads to a second post today. After some much needed rest I'm in full swing again and doing what I love to do most...being nosey reading blogs of people I know nothing about! Yesterday I came across not 1, but 2!, blogs that I am now addicted to reading and I wanted to share them with my four readers! I can't help but feel for these two families. I know how and what they are feeling because I was in their exact same shoes 2 years ago. Both of these families went in to the hospital expecting to give birth to a perfectly healthy baby a few days ago...only to have their baby be transported to a NICU, and they had/have no real reason why. It brings back so many memories of what it felt like that night they told me Jackson was sick and they had NO CLUE what was wrong. So...if you are interested, and have some free time on your hands swing on over and read Brayden's story and Harper's story. I'm getting pretty good with my little blog huh...links and everything! My next step is to find those really cool blog signatures. If you want to follow Harper and Brayden's stories, the links will be added to the "Blogs I Follow Section." Alright...I'm off to work on my new cool signature. Until next time, as always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

who's feeling rather nifty today!

Darn It!!

So, no delay this morning. My payback for wanting some extra sleep on this cold, cold morning...another ear infection! I felt it coming on yesterday and tried to ignore it and do some positive thinking. Well, that didn't work. On another round of antibiotics. Just popped two Tylenol for the pain and the little temp. As I type three little (in my head still little, though they are rather big now) kitties are eyeing me, just tempting me to go lay down with them in the nice warm bed...so I think I will!

Nichole, who's battling ear infection #2 and not happy about it...

Two Words

SNOW DAY!!!!!
Nothing like waking up to a couple inches of snow on the ground, which pretty much stops all production here in the good ol' south. It's so pretty outside, and the snow keeps falling! As a student you love snow days because it's another day off, but as you get older the reality of the situation sets in...we'll have to make the day up next month-yuck! Oh well...we are off to build a snowman and to enjoy the snow, which we haven't seen a good amount of for 6 years! It's worth making up the day...

Snow Bunny Nichole

***UPDATE***
It's 5:00...and all the snow is gone. Looks like "The Winter Storm of 2009" (this is how the media described it) is over. But wait...maybe it's not! I will now begin my "Let's have a two hour delay" dance. Feel free to join in. We are off to the movies..."Mall Cop" starring Kevin James who I LOVE! Hope the roads aren't too bad...guess that will prepare me for tomorrow's reality, delay or no delay?!!!??!

Oh...and thanks Aunt Cindy and Jess for being my first two blog "followers." My list of people who read my blog has doubled to 4-wow! I've also added a section of "blogs I Follow" which you'll probably be attached to before too long....(and these aren't the only ones, just ones that I'll admit to right now...)

Long Weekends...

I sure do love them. Friday was a workday, which was much needed...my poor office and storage closet were horrific to say the least. Anyway, they are clean...YAY! Then it was off for a 3 day weekend, which included lots of fun stuff! Saturday night we had a spur of the moment girls night...which included dinner and a movie. Nothing like 5 hot chicks going out to dinner at the Cracker Barrel! Hey...we are all on weight watchers and it's good food, stop laughing. After our romantic, wild dinner we headed over to see Bride Wars, which was really good! Had an awesome night with the girls!

Sunday night was lots of fun too. We had spur of the moment let's go bowling to celebrate Shell passing the CFP! I swear I'm either really good at Wii bowling
(300) or the lanes were a lot narrower then the last time I went bowling. I think my high game was 120ish, if I'm lucky! It doesn't matter, we had fun celebrating and even got a free game...fun times!

Monday was great...no work! Joseph and I did some shopping, well OK, I did some shopping for clothes. Then we hit the grocery store for our food for the week...we are doing much better about not going out to eat. Last week we ate out one night, because I needed my Mexican fix, and then we had to order pizza one night because the chicken I made was HORRIBLE!!! But other then that, we have done really good with cooking, so I'm proud of us! I also had a doctor appointment today...met with my OB to discuss the whole I can't get pregnant because of my stupid thyroid issue. He was awesome, listened to what I had to say, and wrote the script I requested no questions asked, so hopefully the days of anywhere from 28 to 52 day cycles are over! I never thought getting pregnant would be our biggest hurdle...it was suppose to be testing negative for SMA. But...we'll continue to jump hurdles like we have always done. I'd love to get pregnant this cycle because that would mean a baby in October...EVEN (I know, psycho)! Another great thing about today...COUPLES MASSAGE...enough said!

Alright...now I'm off to do my snow dance and then to bed in case the meteorologists is really off and we get no snow tonight/tomorrow. They have predicted 2-4 inches, which is nothing to my upstate NY family (where are you now...like 150 inches so far this year?!). However...in SC, 2 inches means you better get your bread and milk, which made for a long shopping line at the grocery store when we were buying actual groceries, not bread and milk. Thanks for checking in on us. Until next time, as always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

Nichole, who's doing a snow dance on the way to bed....

Top 5 Things I Hate

Now, I know hate is a strong word, but I really DO NOT like these 5 things (in a particular order today)...

1-SPINAL MUSCULAR ATROPHY...otherwise known as SMA, the #1 genetic killer of children under the age of 2. These three once meaningless letters have forever changed mine and Joseph's life and the lives of many of you who read this blog...

2-My "monthly" very erratic cycle...how can you get pregnant when you do not have a normal cycle?! This is making me go mad, which is probably causing the stress that is causing the erratic cycles, or so you think...

3-Thyroid disease...which is known to cause infertility and problems conceiving. So...we have one piece to the puzzle of erratic cycles! 6-8% of women develop this disease after pregnancy (check, got it, done, good). This disease also leads to weight gain (check, got it, done, good!), trouble losing the weight (check, got it, done, good), difficulty conceiving (check, got it, done, good) and sensitivity to cold (check, got it, done, good)...

4-Cold weather...absolutely hate it. Don't know how I lived in upstate New York for 12 years in what is often times referred to as the "Snowy place in the Country," the great town of Watertown, NY. Thanks for getting me out of there Mom and Dad. No thanks to the 15 degrees temp this morning, and it's suppose to be even colder tomorrow (7 degrees...odd). Thanks! (which does remind me of two obsessions that I left off my list of things I love-heated seats and scarfs)!

5-Odd Numbers...I know I need to get over it, but I can't. The only two descent odd numbers are 21 and 3. Joseph and I were married on the 21st in 2003. Jackson came home on March (3rd month) 21st. My third least hated number is 5...Jackson was born on the 5th, but if you recall he did pass away in May (fifth month) on the 15th, but only because he let us know it was time. I also found out I was pregnant with J on May 5th...both odd. And...a miracle happened to 155 people yesterday, they survived a plane crash. What an amazing sight! I'm working on my odd number obsession, maybe I should see someone about that.......

I'm done for today. Gotta get to a meeting at 8 and then grab a quick lunch (yay me for resisting temptation (known as going out to lunch) and packing my own lunch for today) before I go into the dreaded storage closet and office here at school which have been accumulating "stuff" for half of August, September, October, November, December, and half of January. I'm going to be in there a long time, but I have my 2 favorite not part of my family men...Bon Jovi and Daughtry, what more do I need?!

Until next time, as always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

Nichole

Top ??? Things I Like/Love/Am Obsessed Over...

For some reason I have been compiling a list in my head of things that I like, really like, love and somewhat am obsessed over. So...tonight, I decided to share my crazy obsessions with others, wondering if they too have the same obsessions.

My obsessions, in no particular order (with as few comments as possible, or you might be reading for a looooonnnngggggg time-I'm sorry I'm winded, I know)...

1-Two Words...JACKSON COLE, even though he was only here for 4 VERY short months, and he has been gone for almost 2 years...there is not a single day that goes by that I do not think about him. And boy oh boy, some days are a lot harder then others. Love You Baby Boy...

2-My husband-he's the greatest, enough said!

3-My Mom, who I have to talk to at least once a day, most days 2-3 times. Now, every other day we like to fight about something...but I still know I have the greatest Mom in the whole world! And Dad too...

4-Blogs...I read blogs of people who live in who knows where. I can not stop reading them. I still read the IVF blog to see what they are doing. I read blogs about healthy, happy kids, and kids like Jackson, who fight for every breath of every day. I CAN NOT stop reading them...and I check seriously 10+ blogs every day, multiple times a day...OBSESSED!

5-My High School Reunion Webpage, which gets checked several times a day.

6-My email...which is checked more times a day then I can count-both accounts too!

7-My Online Bank Account...balance a check book-NO WAY, look online, much easier!

8-My Cats (how'd they get way down here you ask?! Because for a minute I was able to type without one of the goons stepping on my computer, so they were kinda in the back of my mind for a minute there-oops!) They should be much higher on the list since their "medical" expenses are more then my husbands and their "food" consist of rabbit and green peas...enough said!

9-TIVO...greatest thing ever invented. Put a tape in and program it to tape for me...what? No way!

10-My Girlfriends-girls rule, enough said!

11-My Girlfriend's Husbands-we are a pretty close knit group...

12-Our Wii...better then any other gaming system I've ever had, and I had them all growing up...

13-My Wii Fit...which has led to shedding some pounds

14-Home Pregnancy Test...I should own stock in them. Last month, 33 day cycle, this month on day 37...still no signs of it ending, but still a negative test. Come one, seriously?! (and I've only taken 2 test so far this month-which is lower then normal...but I'm still obsessed with them)

15-Reality TV Shows...the list includes, Amazing Race, The Bachelor, Survivor, Biggest Loser, American Idol, DietTribe, The Hills, The City, Real World/Road Rules Challenges, Jon and Kate, What Not to Wear, The Real World (most of these are tivoed with a season pass)

16-Non Reality TV Shows-Guiding Light, Ellen, Secret Life of the American Teenager, Grey's, Private Practice, Friday Night Lights, Prison Break, and I know I'm missing some, but the mind is getting tired

17-Teaching...times are tough for educators with the economy, but I couldn't and wouldn't do anything else

18-BUNKO...my once a month get away where I earn $80 when I beat my girlfriends game! Fun times!

19-Jeans Day At Work...every Friday we get to wear jeans. Tomorrow is Thursday, but like a Friday, so we are wearing jeans anyway. Gotta have jeans day!

20-My Principal...because he doesn't really pay that much attention to what we wear!

21-The Public Library-a great place to get a good book, use the internet, get a movie, or go for some quiet time ALL FOR FREE (unless you don't turn in your book on time, which cost 10 cents a day it's overdue. Wonder how I know that?) I especially like combining this obsession with my next...

22-Baths-love to relax and read a good book. (unless it's summer vacation at the beach, in which case, number 22 would read beach)

23-The phrase "Check, Done, Got It, Good!" which I apparently say all the time, most appropriately, at times that I have finished a task, or accomplished a goal.

24-Even Numbers...you see, I wanted to end with the "Check, Done, Got It, Good!" phrase, but it was an odd number...so I had to add another obsession, which, as crazy as it is, even numbers. I hate odd numbers...don't know why, probably my most craziest obsession...

That's my list...I'm off to try to get to bed early, that is, if I can get through the blogs, emails, bank statements, high school news, lesson plans........

You get the point...

Nichole

and like I could forget...REMEMBER JACKSON!

Check, Done...

That was the magic phrase this weekend...and also applies to us making it through what would have been Jackson's 2nd birthday. Both Joseph and I decided to work, we thought it would be best, and it was. I was heavy hearted all day, but all in all, it was a good day. I at least got to wear jeans, and my "Team Jackson" t-shirt to school, which is always nice. My Mom cooked an awesome dinner for us, so that was nice too! I do have to say that the hardest part of my day had ZERO to do with it being Jackson's birthday but rather an email I recieved...informing me of my 10 YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION! What?! I graduated like yesterday...or so it seems. Hard to believe that it's been 10 years...but it has. I'm super excited though...I have been glued to our "reunion page" reading updates on all the people, so that's been fun. It was rather tricky doing my profile...it's always hard when you get to the chilren part on any form. I decided to go ahead and let everyone know about Jackson and his battle with SMA, but hopefully come reunion time in October all have a healthy baby to show off pictures of too. I'm also really excited at the positive turnout thus far. For Joseph's reunion last year only like 50 people responded...so far we have 70, and the info just went out! Joseph's was cancelled because of lack of turnout but I know ours is going to ROCK! I'm really excited for it and look forward to seeing all my peeps from the Class of '99!

Alright...I'm off to finish up some work and then headed home to my dreaded Wii Fit who is not my best friend. I work my little behind off and gain weight. Joseph doesn't use it, steps on and loses 3 pounds. AArrrggghhh...boys have it so easy! As always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

Nichole...who's feeling a little "older"

Happy New Year!

It is so hard to believe that 2009 is already here...what happened to '08 right?! I hope that all of you had a wonderful New Year's. Mine is off to a great start...I just got home from "Girls Weekend" with 5 out of 6 of my bestest friends...we miss you Deecer (whose all the way in Lubbock, TX). It was so much fun hanging out with my girlfriends with no agenda. We ate lots of junk food, watched movies, talked and talked and talked, played games and were lazy all weekend. It was great! I'm glad to be back home with my hubby, but it's so nice to be able to get away and spend time with the girls too! Hopefully we can get away like this 2-3 times a year. Every girl needs time with her bestest girlfriends! Now we are staring our "Weight Lose Challenger" with a bunch of friends to shed all the extra weight gained over the holidays and girls weekend. I feel like I've got some good help on my side since joining and learning about Weight Watchers last year and exercise will be a lot easier with my eliptical and my new Wii Fit...which is awesome! I'm sure I'll keep you posted on the "Weight Lose Challenge."

Now we are all settled in back at home and the reality of the real world is closing in...fast. It's back to work for me tomorrow...which will be tough for two reason, one being I haven't had to get up early for 2 weeks, and the other being that it's Jackson's birthday. Jackson would be 2 years old tomorrow, and it just blows my mind how fast time has flown by. This time two years ago I was in the hospital anticipating holding my newborn son in my arms. I never thought it would be 4 days before I held him...it seemed like forever. There are so many things that changed the minute Jackson entered the world...it is amazing to me how Joseph and I have changed because of him. I know many couples struggle when they lose a child, and I'm not going to deny that Joseph and I didn't have problems, but I feel our marriage and our life is so much better now because of what that little boy did for us, and lots of you too! Last year we tried going out to dinner with a bunch of people, and that was tough, so this year we are going to go to my parent's house for dinner. Joseph and I also have gift certificates for massages, and we were going to do that tomorrow, but I think we'll hold off until the weekend. So that will be a nice way for us to spend time together remembering our baby boy. The pain and thoughts never go away, but I think this year is a lot better then last year was at this time. Never gone, just easier...

So...I'm off to bed (before 9 for the first time in weeks) because it's back to the real world tomorrow. Thanks for checking in on us, and tomorrow please say an extra prayer for us as we go through another heavy hearted day without our Jackson. Until next time, as always, please REMEMBER JACKSON!

Nichole